Ugh, just when I thought I was doing well, I fucked the last quarter of this year to utter shit. I really crashed and burned at the end of the year, I had no idea how to keep myself happy or continue the upkeep of energy required to battle back against seasonal depression and anxiety. It’s not like it resets when 2018 rolls around, it’s just more clear I have energy problems.
I think I have a clearer idea of what I should do this year. Let’s hope I can find the mindful space to just finish those things.
WHAT I DID AND DIDN’T DO IN 2017
I had such high hopes for 2017, I was gonna finish so much stuff and at first I thought I was doing pretty well. I was finishing things I set out to do. I started dropping the tasks in the first third and then by the summer, I had completely failed to dedicate time to what I wanted to do. I let things run me over, I got too ambitious and it cost me time and energy.
Things I did this year was slim but I managed a few new things and repeated a few old things. Despite 2016 ending so horribly and the beginning of 2017 started with apartment searching with Suzette. We moved in winter but now have friends down the hall in our new digs.
I traveled via van convoy to Emerald City Comic Con. It was my second time but now with more friends. We went hard and saw blustery roads and crazy weather. It was where I realized I might be more cat like when it rains heavily. While there, found a few new friends while solidifying friendships. Not to mention trying out a movie theatre with recliners for chairs. Dayum.
Spring came early and with it was another trip to Vancouver to visit family. This time it was to celebrate the twins Noah and Nolan. It was warm and as usual got to do my walk with Joe Mike down the ocean front.
The summer brought new ambition and some succeeded while some failed. I managed to finally leave my job for another, hopefully more stable position at a much larger company. I tried dating again and fucking hated it. Yeah.
Other things, playoff games with friends. Got to be a MUA and a BTS photographer for a friend during his short film shoot. Lady Gaga with my bestie. Watching my dude Rory play a stacked bill at the Almanac. Actually enjoying a burlesque show with Alena, thanks to Dan for giving me a free ticket. Participated in Dougie and Greg’s wild pub crawl. Accidentally took a friend to the wildest party in Edmonton ever, I thought it was an after party art show. I was so wrong. Got kicked out of Geostorm on Mck’s birthday. Was a mermaid for Halloween and it was awesome. Took more baths, looked up more, wanted to be alone while not wanting to be alone. Reunited with my oldest friends. Drifted a bit more with others.
This year, I have to look for stability. Last year was spent expending a lot of energy to seemingly stay on a track made of glass. I can’t be on a track so fragile.
REVIEW OF MY GOALS FOR 2017
- Take my road test at least once this year.
- Stop putting my energy in lost causes because I actually don’t have time for that.
- Finish that secret comic. Maybe even crowd fund it.
Finish the Writing Academy feature script project with edits.
- Read more. Try and read more of those comics that are 3-4 years old.
Watch 5 movies a month, at least 2 of them have to be new.
- Edit and polish that short film script.
Take another adult learning course.
- Try reading a novel per 2 months.
- Try story boarding a short script.
Create more for my design portfolio.
- Travel more and to places you wouldn’t have thought to go.
Update main website, even if its a little bit. Save money.
- And of course, try to post once a month on the old blog.
- I read a total of like 3 books last year. Not even close to projecting 6.
- I barely touched my comics, I’ve only been keeping up with my Bleach mangas and that’s just not cutting it.
- I was supposed to take my road test in August but I got tripped up by boy trouble, fuck.
- Made a few more pages into that comic but not enough to really be happy about it.
- I’ve barely drawn all that much this year and it makes me sick to my stomach.
- I didn’t really travel as much as I wanted to mainly because I changed jobs and now I barely have any vacation hours, for now.
- So close, I was so close to posting every month.
JANUARY: 31 days off of Facebook
FEBRUARY: 28 days of selfies on Instagram
MARCH: 31 days of TV pilots
APRIL: 30 days of Runningno
MAY: 31 days of Readingnope
JUNE: 30 Days of Film
JULY & AUGUST: Road Testfrick
SEPTEMBER: Weight Training
I can tell you now that I never did anything for the last two months of 2017. I tried really hard. The work out thing was tough and it bleed into October but I should’ve still done something for November and I never did.
Even with a summer break, I couldn’t stick with some of the monthly challenges. I managed to finished 6 monthly challenges versus 12 months. I was only ever 50% good but even then, 2 of those months were dedicated to one goal and I couldn’t even muster energy to do that.
I think I will change up my monthly challenges for 2018. I obviously need to just do what I like and can create on time. The most successful ones involve pop culture so I will try and refocus on giving myself a break. I’m also thinking of doing 6 monthly challenges and 6 months off. We’ll see.
GOALS FOR 2018
Gotta keep it simple, stupid.
- Draw more
- Read more
- Take road exam
- Train more
- Sew more
- See friends more often
For now, this is the simplest I can make this list. It’s just time to be real, I might not ever make another comic or paint a masterpiece but I can try and bit harder to make something close.
I figure if at the least I can just do more by calling it what it is then that’s all I really need. It’s all I can really look forward to, just the thought of being simple would be satisfactory at this point. It’s not always fun to be realistic but I just don’t want to kid myself anymore.